Let’s take a moment and breathe together, why don’t we?
Pause and reflect on your day- and just today- not this week, month, or beyond.
Do you feel the pull of other thoughts and feelings? The static that keeps you from being in the present?
You’re not alone.
It’s not easy for most of us to settle into our present selves. Reflecting on your day- especially one that’s been unremarkable, hectic, or bad- with a spirit of gratitude doesn’t come naturally. And yet we’ve all heard thought leaders like Eckert Tolle, renaissance women like Oprah Winfrey, and even scientists promoting gratitude as a powerful way to create a fulfilling life.
But what about the rest of us? Is gratitude something you can learn and practice without being a great philosopher or empire builder?
Do you have the time to be grateful? Can you be grateful when life is at a low point?
I’m so glad you asked…
Because the beautiful answer is: yes.
Why Gratitude?
Most of us understand gratitude on a surface level. However it’s not something that comes natural to us- like hunger or pleasure. We’re taught to say “thank you” as children before we have the capacity to understand that being grateful isn’t transactional. This pattern means as an adult, most of us don’t even think about gratitude unless it’s part of a response to a social trigger.
We say “thank you” when someone holds open a door.
When we talk about gratitude in general, it’s a sweeping ideas at Thanksgiving dinner. We all feel the pull of thankfulness in November, even though David DeSteno posits that Thanksgiving is a day where gratitude is wasted on us.
But what happens if gratitude becomes internal? And what happens if we weave it into our lives in small amounts every day?
Gratitude is directly linked to human connection and existence, to our happiness and motivation. It’s more than acting like the glass is half-full all of the time (though reframing your thoughts in a more positive light is a good place to start!)
Arianna Huffington, Founder & CEO of Thrive Global once wrote,
“…the objects of our gratitude don’t have to be big or life-changing. It can be gratitude for your morning cafe latte. Or a random encounter with a person who made you smile that day. It can ever be noticing a piece of nature on the way to work.”
Gratitude- and real gratitude- doesn’t have an external catalyst. It begins with you.
It is possible to put this simple concept to work for you and your own life. Let me show you how…
What Gratitude Can Do for You
Gratitude is a neuroscientific gift, an ability given to us as human beings. Our ability to collaborate, listen, and give to one another isn’t a mystery- but benefits that aren’t instant seem lost to us in a modern world.
There’s so much that gratitude can do for you, no matter how little you practice or meditate on it. Through numerous studies, we have learned that gratitude can directly help us by:
- Gratitude reduces your overall stress levels-and can help with anxiety and depression.
Being thankful reduces stress levels, as well as depression and anxiety. Gratitude has the power to bolster your empathy, both for yourself and others. If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, gratitude can break those negative patterns that are strangling out your happiness. In fact- it’s a guaranteed happiness booster! Practicing gratitude can literally reframe and rewire the brain, leading to less aggression, fear, and negative thoughts.
- You’ll sleep better with a grateful mind.
Feeling stressed from the daily grind and just hoping for a good night’s sleep? Studies have shown that practicing gratitude, especially bullet journaling what you’re grateful for right before bed, can help you sleep longer, deeper, and better over time!
- It can form stronger bonds and strengthen your relationships.
Giving thanks to your family and peers is scientifically proven to strengthen your bonds with them. No matter how small, letting someone know that you’re grateful for them and all that they do can go a long way.
- Feeling grateful can make you more open to healing.
Being grateful for your body and mind can lead to faster healing of both physical and mental damage. People who practice gratitude regularly are shown to take care of their health more overall.
How to Begin Your Gratitude Journey
You heard this before, but here it is again- practice makes perfect.
According to Emily Fletcher, the founder of Ziva and online meditation training website zivaMIND,
“…practicing gratitude can shift our attention to look for what is going right instead of looking for problems to solve. Over time, this encourages our brains to more consistently search for the constructive themes in our life instead of the destructive ones…”
Emily equates gratitude practices to growing flowers instead of weeds, a beautiful and constructive metaphor. When you think of your mind as a garden and your thoughts as your crops- you too can grow beautiful blooms and cull invasive or undesired plants from your thinking!
Forming positive pathways in the brain can be done in less time than you think. Here’s how to infuse your daily life with thankfulness right now:
Begin a Gratitude Journal.
While Oprah may have started this trend, she isn’t the only one to maintain and appreciate the benefits of journaling. Most psychologists recommend this as the best place to start on your mindful gratitude journey.
Writing for self is a lost art, one I’m happy to see become relevant again.
Keeping a small journal in your nightstand or on your desk and recording what you are grateful for in a single day is a fast way to develop positive and mindful associations. It never has to be much- just a few bullet points highlighting the best moments is enough to realign your brain with positive thinking.
Listen to Some Podcasts All About Gratitude and Mindfulness.
I immediately jump to The Verywell Mind podcast by Amy Morin, or The Happiness Lab series by Dr Laurie Santos. Both of these have a lot to offer when it comes to mindfulness and bringing a grateful heart and mind to any situation.
Listen to this episode from Verywell Mind on how to build up your mental resilience quickly through gratitude, or this one from The Happiness Lab all about the circle of gratitude we share with one another.
Looking for other Podcast recommendations? Check out RBH’s top five favorite podcasts.
Gretchen Rubin is another wonderful resource for learning everything there is to learn about gratitude. Her Happier podcast is a fantastic resource for more than just thankfulness, and she also has a very robust blog to peruse.
Are journals not your style? Gretchen Rubin dislikes gratitude journals for her own mindfulness and gives followers alternatives for cultivating appreciation. She is relatable, concise, and someone I connect to, especially considering her real takes are definitely thoughts I’ve had before:
“I find it hard to stay in a grateful frame of mind—I take things for granted, I forget what other people have done for me, I have high expectations.”
Here’s something that not enough people talk about: even the pros struggle with gratitude. Listening to these women talk about their personal journeys has made me more comfortable with mine.
Begin Meditating Regularly.
I consider meditation to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it truly goes hand in hand with gratitude. Taking the time to breathe, check in with your mind and body, and just be can bring about a more relaxed and open existence.
There are countless meditation apps out there today, both guided and unguided, including ones specifically centered around gratitude. I personally utilize meditations from Down Dog, an app that doubles as a yoga instructor. Many of my friends also love Headspace- a perfect place for beginners.
Habit-Stack Your Way into Gratefulness.
What is “Habit-Stacking”?
It’s a new habit on-top of one you already have. And, it’s a great way to build habits (like gratitude) that can easily be pushed off to the side.
So if you found yourself thinking…
“I’d love to practice gratitude…but I don’t have the time/quiet space to sit down and crack out a journal!”
You’re going to love this news: You can practice gratitude anywhere, in any space, for any amount of time and still get the benefits.
If you’re always on the go, habit-stacking is the best way for you to start bringing purpose-lead thankfulness into your daily life.
Make a mental list of what you’re thankful for while you’re in the shower, putting on makeup, on the way to the office. Anchor your gratitude practice to a simple, everyday habit you already have and the consistency will follow.
Think About Bringing Joy to Someone You Hold Dear.
Since gratitude is inherently linked to our relationships with others, a simple way of practicing it can be through imaginative exercises focused on those we love.
Think of someone you love- or someone you want a stronger relationship with like a family member, a spouse, or a friend.
Imagine this person getting everything they’ve ever wanted, and the happiness that washes over both of you. Hold onto that feeling of joy for a few rounds of breath- literally hold onto that happiness. Your brain will remember it and you’ll find yourself feeling greater empathy and love for those around you.
Advocate for Others- and Yourself.
Going to bat for someone else- and yourself- can foster feelings of gratitude and strengthen important neural pathways.
If your friend is feeling proud of their accomplishments, sing it loud with them! Celebrating with others strengthens our immediate relationships as well as our overall sense of belonging and community. And if you’re feeling good about yourself or your circumstances? Don’t be afraid of that feeling. You deserve to celebrate your success. Reinforce good feelings to break that pattern of “yes, but…”. Take time to celebrate without looking for ways to improve your accomplishments or focusing on “what could go wrong” next time.
We’re Grateful for You
As someone who has struggled with a perfectionist-style anxiety, gratitude is an essential for happiness. I hope you can also experience the peace and buoyancy I’ve found in these simple practices. When you start to see gratitude as a small, happy necessity- like drinking water or creating a space for yourself- the life-changing effects happen fast,
It all begins with you!
No matter how busy you are, promise me you’ll carve some time out of your hectic schedule to think about what you are grateful for. You deserve it. You deserve to appreciate yourself as well as the wonderful world around you.
I know we’re grateful for you and so much more.
Light and love-
Lía Flores
