In the incandescent film Chocolat, Vianne travels from town to town with her young daughter, Anouk. We meet her as she walks into Lansquenet-sous-Tannes, a small town in the French countryside where “quiet” is a way of life.
Vianne opens a chocolate shop, stirring suspicions of decadence just before Lent.
Why has Vianne arrived in this sleepy town? Her wanderings are a desperate attempt to avoid pain. This attempt, we discover, is one of the many chocolate shops she’s set up. Vianne always leaves before she gets too close to settling down.
Everywhere she goes, Vianne brings her mother’s ashes: a symbol of her past pain. Just as her daughter Anouk has come to love Lansquenet-sous-Tannes, Vianne feels the call to unsettle them once more. In the ensuing struggle, the urn breaks- scattering the small heirloom of their past.
While I won’t spoil the beautiful ending, I can tell you- I relate to Vianne on many levels.
In my adult life, I’ve never spent more than a year in one place. When you know you may not be staying long, it’s easy to feel like you’re never “at home.”
The last time? Even with the boxes unpacked, I still feel uneasy. A home is supposed to be a cocoon or a sanctuary. But between the blank walls and the mountain of knicknacks? I felt anything but relaxed.
This time, I’m making a change.
…Even though I am only renting…
…Even though I may not be here next year…
…And even though I have a limited budget…
I deserve a home.
Everyone deserves a home.
Whether you are in a dorm room for the semester or a long-term renter with rules governing your interior changes, there are plenty of little ways to feel more comforted, relaxed, and truly at home...
First: Make Space For Peace With Organization
Nothing destabilizes a space more quickly than clutter.
Personal sanctuary is our goal in making this temporary space feel like home. Nothing will make you feel like you’re still living out of a suitcase faster than not having a place for your day-to-day routine.
I know. How? I’m terrible at this.
I pop home in between appointments and throw something on the island. Next thing I know, the unopened mail, rogue books, and loose pens close in on me like the garbage compactor in Star Wars. Inevitably I lose my go-to earrings, keys, and the electric bill in the mess.
When every item you own has a place…and you make a commitment to keeping it in its place…you create the physical room you need to experience peace.
How do you create intuitive storage? Especially in a temporary living situation where you can’t always hang more shelving or add new cabinets?
Start With Basic Organization:
Organization isn’t just about giving every item a home. It’s about storing those items in places that make sense in the context of how you use them.
For example: if you don’t use your blender on a regular basis, it doesn’t need to be taking up valuable real estate on your kitchen counter. But your favorite spatula? It deserves a prime spot that’s easily accessible whenever you need to whip up a grilled cheese or a stir fry.
Make Organization a Micro-Habit:
Even when we try to do our best, busy schedules accrue clutter. When I work from home it becomes a problem- fast. Without a clean work area, my mind wanders when I should be focusing on work. But the more I focus on work? The more the dishes pile up at my desk.
Fortunately, fighting back is easy. In The Ultimate Guide To Gratitude, we talked about “habit stacking”- or creating small chains of habits that work toward a larger impact.
I’m a visual person, so I find it easier to organize if I’m creating a beautiful space while I’m cleaning up.
My ritual tip? Find beautiful containers-such as colorful pots, old mugs, or cigar boxes- and place them in strategic places around your home. Then, make sorting the container’s contents part of your routine.
Choose a decluttering habit that fits into something you already do. This “anchors” the pattern, making it less of a chore and more of a ritual. For example, whenever I finish my tea, I take my cup back to the sink to get a glass of water. But I also use this “break” to swing through the living room and gather any out-of-place dishes, supplies, etc. and walk them back into the kitchen, too.
I also have weekly organizational habits.
In my small apartment? Clutter always piles up in my entryway. I come home, unlock the door, and toss whatever I’m carrying on our console.
The solution? A wicker basket at the doorway that I sort through every Sunday afternoon, returning everything to its rightful place.
Choose A Signature Scent For Your Home
Scent is a strong trigger for memory… Just a whiff of cranberry ginger ale can take me back to sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen, and I always think of my best friend when I smell honeysuckle.
If you give your interior a signature scent, you will always feel at home when you smell it!
Incorporate your fragrance into your household items, like soap, candles, or incense. You can stick to one, or change with the seasons. For me, it isn’t autumn without cinnamon!
To discover your signature scent, start with what you already love. Do you have a favorite perfume, flower, or fruit?
Quick Ritual Tip: Think About the Mood You Want to Create.
Floral scents evoke a soft, subtle, and welcoming vibe.
The zing of citrus is energetic and joyful (great for work areas!)
Vanilla feels soft and romantic- but can be paired with cinnamon for a warm, loving feel.
Sandalwood, tobacco, and patchouli feel exotic and adventurous (my favorite for evening gatherings and entertaining).
Make Your Garden Grow
Brighten your space by bringing a little bit of the wild outdoors inside. Not only are plants beautiful, but they also keep you connected with nature and boost your mood.
Before you buy a plant, consider the environment and care that it needs. Don’t have a lot of natural light? I wouldn’t recommend hibiscus. New to plant care or have a very busy schedule? Avoid fussy plants like orchids.
If you are unsure what plants will thrive in your environment, stop by your local florist or gardening depot and get their advice.
For social media savvy homeowners, TikTok and Instagram are filled with plant keeping accounts.
Tiktok user Raylin_vh offers advice for first time plant owners. She offers plant care tips, tutorials on propagating, and suggestions on plants for beginners.
And Instagram account @Succulentcity is the largest succulent community on the internet. The account is filled with cacti inspiration and aesthetic shots of succulents. But it also offers care tips and advice for plant owners looking for guidance. After following this account, you’ll never have to worry about overwatering your cacti again.
As you build confidence with this ritual, you can get creative and try functional plants. Cooking herbs, aloe vera, and even carrots can grow indoors!
If you’d like, give your plants names. They are living things and they are now part of your family.
I personally have two jade plants, Sophia and Dorothy (the iconic mother-daughter duo from The Golden Girls). They are hardy succulents that need minimal water and they love my sunny windowsill.
I think they’re perfect dopplegangers.
Choosing Color With Intention To Create Good Resonance
We all have colors that resonate with us.
Purple always gets my creativity going. Blue-hued forest greens immediately transport me to a calming garden.
I know that color affects my mood, but I never thought to prioritize colors as a ritual before I began this journey. My previous décor was an eclectic mix of hand-me downs and impulse purchases with no clear color story.
So I did a little digging on color psychology.
Award winning research blog, the Very Well Mind published an article on color psychology and the effect it has on our moods.
The article breaks down how our brains process colors and how it affects the way we perceive them. Our eyes see color by scanning the wavelengths of light that each color gives off. The longer the wavelength, the more our eyes have to adjust to see it.
Colors on the blue side of the spectrum give off short wavelengths, and in most instances, our eyes don’t need to adjust at all to see it. That’s why we associate blue, purple, and green as cool colors.
On the other hand, colors on the red spectrum have larger wavelengths. Red, orange, and yellow evoke strong emotions, and are known as warm colors.
Creating a color story for my apartment has not only given my small space intention, it makes me feel at home.
Here’s What Color Rituals I’ve Set:
First I developed a color palette for each room in my apartment, keeping in mind the emotions associated with each color.
Then, I organized my current possessions according to color and placed them in the corresponding space.
Now, when I look for unique accents at local boutiques and flea markets, I consider how an item might fit into my current palette. This has “toned down” the chaos, given each space it’s own feel, and helped me transition from task to task- especially during the stay-at-home months of 2020.
“How do I create my own color palette?” you ask…
Spend some time in meditation and think about how you respond to colors. After you’ve nailed down general emotional responses, then consider how your space functions. I work from home, so I’ve placed the most energizing colors near my desk: reds, oranges, and yellows.
For my living room, I chose more soothing blues and greens. I use this space to relax after work, so the visual distinction unscores my work-life balance.
Whether you prefer minimalist neutrals or vibrant hues, developing a color palette will refresh your space and boost your mood.
A Place For Creative Growth
Whether you prefer crafting, meditation, or reading (like me), there is nothing more soothing than dedicating a space to your hobbies. Dedicating a small place in your living space is a perfect way to honor your creativity and feel “at home” when you relax.
For this ritual, try placing a comfy chair in the corner of a room and pile it high with blankets, pillows, and whatever makes you comfortable.
Consider adding other elements to the nook- art prints, antiques, or anything that brings you joy.
I love drinking tea so I have a small end table with coasters made from old vinyls next to my recliner.
Self-care is sacred, so only use your book nook (or creative space) for relaxation. If you have to move something every time you access your book nook, you don’t have a dedicated space!
Honor Your Part In A Bigger Story
We all need to remain connected to our role in the universe, whether you practice an organized religion or a self-guided spirituality
In some Jewish traditions, believers hang a mezuzah- Torah verses held in a decorative case- in their doorway. It’s a beautiful ritual that grounds a home in faith and serves as a constant reminder of their place in the world.
In Chocolat, Vianne’s urn of ashes weaves into her origin story. Her father, a white westerner- who falls in love with a native woman in South America. Honoring our past, connecting with our lineage, and having objects that serve as reminders to the larger scope of our story brings us “home”- no matter where we are.
My personal spirituality is a mixture of my upbringing and my own exploration. I store my Quartz cluster, which helps me feel aligned with the Earth, next to the Russian Orthodox icon I received after my grandfather’s death.
All I have to do is look at the icon’s shining golden background to remember Christmas Eves with my family— candlelit services followed by a raucous dinner of homemade pierogies, sauerkraut, and bobalki.
Whatever makes your heart sing and opens your mind to the universe, make a space for it in your home.
Set New Intentions
Every new home is an opportunity for a fresh start.
Consider a short intention-setting ritual to help you make the most of this new beginning. All you need is a candle, a piece of paper, and a pencil.
You’ll want to do this ritual at a quiet time, when you can really focus. I prefer dusk– when work is over and I’m winding down for the night.
Take a few deep breaths to connect with your body. Think about the new intentions you want to set for yourself and what you want this new home to be.. Speak what you desire in clear, simple statements, Get to the heart of the matter.
Do you want to create a warm, welcoming space for others? Is this new move in life the time for reflection and relaxation? If you share your space with someone else, such as a romantic partner or a roommate, consider how you want your relationship with them to grow.
Once you have a strong intention, write it down. Then, place it under your candle.
Light the candle, repeating your intention either in your mind or out loud. Take a few more grounding breaths. Meditate on the flame and lose yourself in the moment.
When you are ready, blow out the candle and go about your day. You can leave your intentions under the candle and switch the paper out whenever you are ready to set new ones, or place it in your planner or on a bookshelf as a reminder of your goals.
Where Do You Go From Here?
At the end of Chocolat, Vianne sets new intentions…and puts down roots in Lansquenet-sous-Tannes. She has finally found a home and a community after years of wandering.
Whether you are ready to settle down or know this place is only a stepping stone to your future, you deserve a home that rejuvenates you.
No matter where life’s journey takes you, remember these little rituals, and you will transform any living space into a home.
